Great Expectations

Our family has observed Advent ever since our children were small. We gather with friends for a devotion and a meal and enjoy the season together. When the kids were small, we did crafts and the devotion was simple. Now the “kids” lead the devotion, and we mostly sit around and talk. The story of Christ’s coming made me think about a common mistake we all make.

Advent means “arrival.” God’s people were waiting for the arrival of the Messiah, and they had been waiting a long time. During their long wait, they created an expectation about what the Messiah would be like and what would happen when he got there. They expected a conquering king who would overthrow Rome and restore Israel’s political power. They expected military might, political revolution, and immediate vindication. 

When Jesus showed up teaching about love, mercy, and service, most people missed him completely. Their expectations were so fixed that when the Messiah actually arrived, they couldn’t recognize him. Some were so invested in their wrong expectations that they saw him as a threat worth killing.

Wrong expectations don’t just disappoint us when reality shows up differently. They actually damage us and the people we lead.

First, wrong expectations make us blind to what’s actually in front of us. The religious leaders couldn’t see the Messiah because he didn’t match their template. How many times have we missed the right person for a role because they don’t look like what we pictured? How many solutions have we overlooked because they arrived in the wrong package? We’re so busy watching for what we expect that we miss what’s actually there. Opportunity doesn’t just pass us by—we actively look away from it because it’s not wearing the right clothes.

Second, wrong expectations create resentment. When what shows up doesn’t match what we were promised (or what we promised ourselves), bitterness takes root fast. The people resented Jesus for not being their military deliverer. In our organizations, people resent new systems, leadership changes, or strategic pivots—not because these things are inherently bad, but because they weren’t what people expected. That resentment spreads like poison through a culture. It makes good people cynical and turns small disappointments into major grievances.

Third, wrong expectations waste tremendous energy and resources. Think about all the preparation that went into expecting a warrior messiah—the wrong kind of readiness for what was actually coming. We do this constantly in business. We prepare for competitive threats that never materialize while the real disruption sneaks in from an unexpected direction. We build skills for a future that isn’t coming while the actual future passes us by. We invest time, money, and emotional energy getting ready for the wrong thing.

Here’s what leaders can do about it.

Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Be honest about what you actually know versus what you hope will happen. Tell people, “Here’s what we’re certain about,” and “Here’s what we’re figuring out as we go.” Don’t let your optimism harden into commitments. Honesty builds realistic expectations instead of setting people up for disappointment.

Communicate constantly, especially when things change. Expectations go sideways fastest when leaders go quiet. People fill silence with their own stories, and those stories are rarely generous or accurate. Keep updating. Keep adjusting the picture together. The more you communicate, the more you can help people recalibrate their expectations in real time—before disappointment and resentment set in.

Teach people to hold expectations loosely. Model it yourself by challenging your own assumptions out loud. When you catch yourself thinking “This should work like this,” stop and ask, “But what if it works differently?” Show your team that adjusting expectations isn’t weakness or failure—it’s wisdom and flexibility. The people who thrive are the ones who stay ready to adapt when reality shows up differently than expected.

Focus on principles over specifics. Jesus didn’t match anyone’s expectations for what the Messiah would do, but he perfectly embodied what the Messiah was supposed to be about—redemption, restoration, and bringing God’s kingdom. When your people understand the why and the values, they can handle unexpected hows. If they know we exist to serve customers and care for our people, they can adapt when the specific methods change.

The Advent story reminds us that God’s solutions rarely match our expectations, but they always match our needs. The people wanted a military king. They needed a servant leader who would change hearts, not just governments. They got exactly what they needed in a package they never imagined.

We serve people by helping them see reality clearly—not by confirming their assumptions. We build trust by being honest about what we don’t know. We create resilience by teaching people to hold their expectations loosely while gripping their values tightly. Our greatest expectation should be to stay humble enough to recognize what’s actually arriving instead of missing it because we’re watching for something else—because that’s the Bison Way.