Our team recently spent a couple days with Del Chittim working on personal and organizational development. At the beginning of the second day, Del said, “Don’t confuse self-knowledge with self-awareness.” I’ve been thinking about that ever since. Philosophy and religion have had much to say over the years about the “self”—from Socrates’ belief that virtue …
Our team recently spent a couple days with Del Chittim working on personal and organizational development. At the beginning of the second day, Del said, “Don’t confuse self-knowledge with self-awareness.” I’ve been thinking about that ever since.
Philosophy and religion have had much to say over the years about the “self”—from Socrates’ belief that virtue is tied to examining one’s own consciousness, to Hume’s definition of “self” as a messy “bundle” of individual perceptions, feelings, and thoughts rushing by. I’m not competent to discern who is right, but I believe that self-awareness is of significant importance to leaders.
Let’s look at the classical definitions of awareness and knowledge. Awareness is a surface-level perception or consciousness, while knowledge is a structured collection of facts, information, and skills. Self-awareness is the real-time ability to observe my current emotions, physical sensations, thoughts, and immediate reactions as they happen. Self-knowledge is the stored database of information, narratives, values, beliefs, traits, and historical patterns about who I am.
You might have heard someone quote a statistic that 95% of people think they are self-aware, while only 10—15% actually are. That comes from work done by organizational psychologist Dr. Tasha Eurich. In her work, she identifies self-awareness into two types: internal self-awareness (how well you know yourself) and external self-awareness (how well you understand how others see you).
Dr. Eurich then puts these in a 2 x 2 matrix to explain four types of self-awareness (or lack thereof):
- Seekers: Low internal self-awareness and low external self-awareness. They do not yet know who they are, what they stand for, or how others perceive them, which can leave them feeling stuck or frustrated.
- Introspectors: High internal self-awareness and low external self-awareness. They know themselves well on the inside, but they do not challenge their own views or seek out external feedback to uncover blind spots.
- Pleasers: Low internal self-awareness and high external self-awareness. They are hyper-focused on how they appear to others and pleasing them, often at the expense of their own values and happiness.
- Aware: High internal self-awareness and high external self-awareness. They have a clear sense of who they are and actively value other people’s perspectives and honest feedback.
Lack of self-awareness in individuals can cripple a team, starting with an erosion of psychological safety. Unaware individuals often react defensively or aggressively to constructive feedback because they cannot see their own flaws. When a team member consistently shifts blame or penalizes honesty, others stop speaking up. This completely halts the open communication required to catch errors or innovate.
Burnout and resentment follow because, when unaware people cannot accurately assess their own performance or behaviors, they frequently shift responsibility for their mistakes, missed deadlines, or emotional outbursts to the rest of the group. Over time, high-performing team members grow exhausted from constantly compensating for the unaware person’s blind spots.
Reduced decision-making capacity and “groupthink” then result when unaware teammates (particularly those in positions of authority) push forward bad ideas based on unchecked cognitive biases. Because unaware individuals lack the metacognitive awareness to question their own logic, other team members often give up trying to argue with them, choosing passive compliance over productive debate.
So, the logical question is, “How do I increase my self-awareness?”
Let’s go back to Dr. Eurich. She defines self-awareness as the ability to see ourselves clearly and understand who we are, how others see us, and how we fit into the world. However, she also posits that self-awareness cannot be accurately self-measured and therefore is difficult to self-correct. Introspection often falls short. Asking “why” (Why do I feel this? Why did I react that way?) backfires. Because so much is hidden from conscious awareness, we invent answers that feel true but are often wrong. “Why” questions also tend to slide into rumination.
There is a possible fix. Replace “why” with “what.” “What situations make me feel this way?” “What do they have in common?” “What do I want next?” These questions are forward-looking and observable, so they yield usable patterns instead of fabricated explanations. The “what, not why” approach works partly because it shifts from explaining to observing over time. The deeper move is trading single-moment introspection for pattern data, which is closer to an empirical log than a reframed question. Picture a daily “what” journal reviewed monthly.
The other way to learn how others see us and how we make them feel is to ask them. This is uncomfortable and can be complicated, but it is doable. It starts with demonstrating over time that people will not be “punished” for telling you the truth. No eye rolls, no excuses, no “I didn’t intend to” responses, and certainly no retaliation or relational retribution of any kind.
Then you ask—directly, personally, privately—what it’s like to work with you. Whatever they say, you get curious, not defensive. You can ask, “Can you tell me more about that?” or “Can you tell me how I could accomplish (fill in the blank) in a way that would make you feel valued and cared for?”
Gathering knowledge about yourself is pretty easy. Understanding how you impact the people around you is much more complex. Great leaders are willing to push into their own discomfort in order to reduce the discomfort of others who have to work with them. Self-awareness is the path to other-awareness, which is how we lead the Bison Way.
