It was the summer of 1978, and The Cars had just released their self-titled debut album. I was 14, but a friend of mine had an older sibling who could drive. We spent too many days circling Lake Overholser in an early ‘70s Chevy van with the Cars cassette cranked up over the really bad …
It was the summer of 1978, and The Cars had just released their self-titled debut album. I was 14, but a friend of mine had an older sibling who could drive. We spent too many days circling Lake Overholser in an early ‘70s Chevy van with the Cars cassette cranked up over the really bad sound system.
I remember feeling like time was going so slowly and I would never get anywhere I wanted to be (the irony of circling a lake in a van was lost on 14-year-old me). Fast-forward almost 50 years, and today I sometimes feel like time is flying by and I will not have time to get everything done.
In the song “Moving in Stereo,” The Cars’ bass player Benjamin Orr says he’s “moving in stereo.” The song featured a pioneering use of panning—where the audio constantly swirls back and forth between the left and right stereo channels, essentially putting the listener “in the stereo.” This song has also often been interpreted as a reflection on the monotony, detachment, and dreamlike disorientation of modern life.
I find the lyrics compelling:
It’s so easy to blow up your problems
It’s so easy to play up your breakdown
It’s so easy to fly through a window
It’s so easy to fool with the sound
It’s so tough to get up
It’s so tough
It’s so tough to live up
It’s so tough on you
The thing that my 14-year-old self and my current self have in common is a tendency to fear. Fear I won’t get what I want or need. Fear I will run out of time (or energy, or resources, or ideas). Fear I will fail. Fear I will succeed. Fear I will be alone. Fear others will see through me.
I haven’t met many leaders who aren’t afraid some of the time (or all the time). The few I thought might actually be fearless scare me. Leaders often struggle with fear of failure and imposter phenomenon. A 2020 study found that up to 82% of people struggle with the sense that they haven’t earned what they’ve achieved and are a fraud despite clear, objective success. Many leaders are focused on not failing rather than succeeding.
I deal with fear very differently today than I did as a 14-year-old (or 30-year-old, or 40-year-old). My former self used two common tactics that fear-driven people turn to: overworking and under-committing. Overworking involves working much harder than I should for a given outcome. Under-committing is holding back by setting goals that are below what I can reasonably do. Both are ways to avoid failure. Both are inefficient and wasteful of my energy and resources.
When I’m the best version of myself, I use three tools or techniques to find a flow state. These are not magic bullets; nothing will prevent us from experiencing fear at some level. We need healthy fear to protect us, but unhealthy fear can be overcome and mitigated if we are willing to reframe what we are afraid of.
First, I change the story I am telling myself. However I got there, if I am struggling with unreasonable fear, I have created a narrative that needs to be changed. I look for words like “can’t” and “them” and change them to “will” and “me.” Ask what story you are telling yourself. Are you the victim or the hero?
Next, I get some help. Often, I escalate my fear of failure by isolating myself and trying to do it all alone. This is just silly behavior for a leader. We are supposed to lead people into capability and capacity by delegating and trusting them to do what we often couldn’t. Leaning on others is leadership.
Finally, I maximize my bandwidth. Nutrition, physical movement, sleep, play, and intellectual stimulation (to name a few) are essential if you want to get the most out of your capability when you engage with your work. Studies show that output drops as much as 30% in the final two hours of a 12-hour shift due to cognitive fatigue and physical exhaustion. The same is true for leadership.
It’s easy to blow up or break down. It’s tough to get up and live up. If you are afraid, you are in good company. We all are. Leadership is hard, but it is worth what you give it if you give it what you should—not more or less. I’m no longer worried about getting where I want to be. I’m there. I see living in stereo as my life in balance and my effort focused on creating the place I would want to live and work—the Bison Way.
