Losing

I read this really great essay by Bonnie Priebel Blaylock: https://getpocket.com/a/read/1432577576

Toward the end she says,

“If I’m holding with white knuckles to those things I’ve lost, or am afraid of losing, my hands are too full to accept all the other great gifts waiting for me.”

I have lost a lot in my life. Not so much as others, but still a lot. In 2012 I almost lost everything including my career (which at the time was my identity as well as my livelihood.) Those were very dark days.

I’m still learning from that experience. It is said that a difficulty will leave us when we have learned the lesson it came to teach. And so I am still learning.

Recently we had to make a difficult decision regarding the Martin Bionics acquisition. As I look back on that process it is obvious that I held on to that vision for too long. I wanted that company. I could see how great that product could be for Kimray. I was emotionally invested. My knuckles were white.

It finally became apparent that it was not going to work. I still agonized over that decision and it really hurt to take the deal off the table and walk away. Losing sucks. However, today we are back in discussions with Martin and he is agreeable to a much better deal (he lost something too.) Maybe it will work, maybe it won’t, but we are in a much better place either way. Sometimes losing is the path to finding.

This past nearly two years we have lost a lot as a company; stability, profitability, people we cared about, plans and much more. Losing sucks. However, we are a much leaner, smarter and better prepared team now. We found ways to save, ways to make do, and now we have the opportunity to find ways to grow again. Sometime losing is the path to finding.

Jesus said, “Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.” Some have literally died for Christ, but for me this daily loss of life is more about letting go of all the things I think I deserve, all the things I want, all the things that I am emotionally invested in, all the distractions. When I clutch those things tightly in my white knuckled fist they create discontent, unrest and disturbance in me. When I give those things up, God gives many of them back but more significantly He gives me contentment, serenity and peace.

We each have been made for this day and brought to this point and place for a specific reason. God is working in each of us and through all of us to accomplish His will. What we do, how we respond and the decisions we make are important. However, we are not in possession of the outcome no matter how tightly we clutch at it. Sometimes losing is the path to finding, and letting go leads to the freedom to see the truth.

I pray that we hand it all over to God daily. It was always His anyway.