Cowboy Code
It’s been a tough year to be a Cowboy (that’s an Oklahoma State University Cowboy). We struggled every weekend this football season, most of the time coming up short, resulting in our first losing season in two decades. I am not a fair-weather fan. I am an OSU Alum. (I went to preschool at OSU and got my degree there a couple decades later.) I have been here before (and likely will be here again), and I was reminded of our code as “Cowboys”:
We end the day knowing we gave it everything we had.
We dream as big as the sky.
We know challenges come with pain, but pain will not win.
We have a passion to do what’s right, even when it’s hard.
We stand for what matters, even if we stand alone.
We finish what we start.
Being a Cowboy isn’t in our clothes, it’s in our character.
Being a leader is like being a Cowboy. It isn’t always fun; it is often hard, however, it matters, and it is ultimately about character. Leaders don’t always win, but they always persevere. As this year winds to a close, I find myself reflecting on my leadership and reviewing this code in the form of questions:
Did I give it everything I had? This is a difficult one for me. I’m wondering if you can relate, but I struggle to find balance sometimes. I always give everything I have, but I often give it in the wrong places. There will always be seasons of unbalance where we have to put more energy and attention into one area at the expense of others. However, there are a few places we should always show up, relationships with family and friends topping the list. I can’t be a great leader if I’m not a great human being.
Are my dreams big enough? It is my responsibility as a leader to inspire those around me. Check. Am I inspired personally? What does personal success look like? I know it’s not possessions or power. How do I want my story to end? I’m still learning this, but I am beginning to understand that if I can’t be content, my dreams will become nightmares for me and for those I lead.
Am I letting pain win? Pain wins when I choose the easier (and lesser) path in order to avoid the difficult and painful work that is necessary to achieve important things. I have to acknowledge that I actually enjoy some kinds of pain. I can fool myself into thinking I’m winning because I lean into the pain of accomplishment while I avoid the pain of humility and relationships.
Do I do what is right? Period. Sometimes, doing what is right is fun and even relatively easy. But rarely. Most of the time, what is right is hard. Satisfying, fulfilling, elevating, but hard. If you aren’t sure you’re on the right path, look around. The right path is a road less traveled. The way for us is narrow. The road to mediocrity is a 6-lane highway filled with people on their cell phones.
Do I know what matters? Standing for what matters is preceded by knowing what matters. Leaders always stand for something; they just don’t always stand for the right things. Things that matter aren’t short term, high visibility, easy gains kind of things. Things that matter unfold over time and go against the grain of the latest craze. Things that matter always make other people’s lives better.
Did I finish what I started? Ouch. This one hit close to home for me. I’m a starter. Not so much the finisher. Acknowledging this, I surround myself with people who do finish things, which is good. However, my responsibility as a leader is to stay engaged with the people I lead until the work is done. Finishing doesn’t always mean doing all the work, but it always means being present and available while the work is getting done.
Do other people call me a good person? Self-awareness and self-perception are critical for a leader. We also have to be somewhat immune to the inevitable personal attacks that always accompany moving the needle. However, it is equally important that the people in our community experience us as a person of good character—trustworthy, dependable, empathetic, sincere. There are plenty of brilliant leaders who are not good people. Great leaders are both.
I hope as you ask yourself these questions, you have reason to be proud of your leadership and see opportunities for improvement at the same time. In recovery, we learn “progress not perfection” as a reminder that we can celebrate where we are even as we set our sights on “better.” If you are willing to ask yourself these questions, your community is blessed to have you as a leader (Cowboy or not!) who is leading the Bison Way.