Here’s Looking At You
Narcissus, a handsome young man from Greek mythology, was renowned for his striking beauty, but he rejected all who pursued him. As punishment for his cruel rejection of others (especially the nymph Echo), the goddess Nemesis led him to a pool of water where he fell in love with his own reflection. Unable to embrace the image or receive its affection, he wasted away, unable to eat or drink, until he died beside the pool. We get the word narcissism from his name.
At GLS this year, Christine Caine said, “You cannot look at yourself and others at the same time.” Leadership, at its core, is about seeing people—not merely recognizing their presence, but truly seeing them as individuals with unique contributions, struggles, and potential. This capacity to see others authentically separates great leaders from those who simply occupy leadership positions.
The contrast between narcissistic and humble leadership couldn’t be starker. Narcissistic leaders see people primarily as instruments for their own success. Their vision is turned inward, constantly evaluating how others serve their agenda, feed their ego, or advance their interests. They may know names and job functions, but they rarely see the whole person.
Humility offers a different lens entirely. As C.S. Lewis noted, humility isn’t thinking less of yourself—it’s thinking about yourself less. Humble leaders possess the rare ability to shift their focus outward, to genuinely see and value the people around them. They understand that leadership isn’t about being seen; it’s about seeing others.
The practice of seeing people requires intentional effort. It means learning names, understanding personal goals, and recognizing that each person brings a unique story to work every day. It means noticing when someone seems discouraged and taking time to check in. It means celebrating individual achievements, not just team metrics.
This isn’t about being soft or avoiding difficult conversations. Seeing people often means having the courage to address performance issues directly while still communicating their inherent value. It’s possible to reject an idea while affirming the person who proposed it. It’s possible to hold high standards while showing genuine care for those working to meet them.
Narcissistic leaders miss this entirely. They’re so focused on their own reflection that they fail to see the human beings around them. They mistake fear for respect and compliance for engagement. They create environments where people show up physically but check out emotionally.
Humble leaders understand that their success is deeply connected to the success of others. They see their role as removing obstacles, providing resources, and creating conditions where people can do their best work. They recognize that when people feel seen and valued, they naturally contribute more, collaborate better, and remain committed longer.
The irony is that leaders who focus less on being seen and more on seeing others often become the most respected and effective leaders in their organizations. They create cultures where people thrive, not just survive.
In our fast-paced, metrics-driven world, it’s easy to lose sight of the humans behind the numbers. But leadership isn’t ultimately about spreadsheets or strategic plans—it’s about people. And people need to be seen, known, and valued for who they are, not just what they produce.
Great leadership starts with the simple act of seeing the people around you—not as resources to be managed or obstacles to overcome, but as individuals with dignity, potential, and stories worth knowing. This is challenging work that requires humility over hubris, curiosity over assumption, and care over indifference. When we don’t just look at people but truly see them, we create environments where everyone can flourish—the Bison Way.