Estate Sale

Recently, there was an estate sale down the street from my house. When my wife and I were still in college, we frequently shopped thrift stores, garage sales, and estate sales, but these days, we rarely even glance as we go by. This one was walking distance from our house, so we strolled down to look. Inside were most of the things you would expect to find, but there were also several “collections”—guns, vinyl albums, some art, a lot of small vases. Those things sparked my thinking.

I am a collector. More accurately, I am obsessive (and compulsive), and when I get fixated on something, I have difficulty stopping. Hence, my large collections of LAMY pens, guns, art, bison figurines, tools, and the list goes on. Each item I have has a story behind it and a reason for it. It brought me pleasure to research, find, and acquire each piece. There isn’t anything inherently wrong with that.

As I looked through all the things neatly arranged on tables in the estate sale (all 50% off because it was Sunday), I thought about how these things were just as important to someone as mine are to me. Each likely has a story—a reason they ‘fit’ into a larger picture that perhaps only the owner understood. Somewhere along the way, those stories and reasons got lost or were never passed on, and now these things are orphans.

Leaders tend to be collectors. They sometimes collect objects like art, guns, or pens, but they always collect accomplishments. There is a reason we write resumes. It is a record of our accomplishments. We want (need) other people to see what we have done. I’m sure when the people whose stuff was being sold in that estate sale were alive, they showed people their stuff with a sense of pride.

Like the items in the estate sale, our accomplishments may hold deep meaning for us. They might have brought us joy in the finding and acquiring, and they may even be valuable. However, once we are no longer there to show them off, who will want them? Who will tell the story behind each item and communicate the care and attention that went into putting that piece into the larger collection?

Without that, our precious collections (our accomplishments) will find their way onto a half price table to be rummaged over by strangers. The individual stories will die, as well as the larger picture. Really, if the only point to the picture was us, it may not matter if it fades away. If I’m being honest, most people don’t care about my LAMY pen collection. If they did, it would be worth a lot more than it is.

So, what can we collect and what can we do with those collections that will keep them from ending up in an estate sale?

We should be collecting other people’s successes. When our effort is only self-relevant and self-affecting it is not very interesting to anyone else. Leaders can often get people to participate in their personal enrichment by trading money and various perks for other’s efforts, but those people don’t care about the outcome in any personal way.

When our effort is other-oriented and impacts others in positive ways, it becomes intensely interesting to them (even if only to the person being affected). Additionally, people maintain (care for, protect, pass on) what they help create. When we focus on other people’s successes, we create an automatic legacy maintenance system.

There is a catch, though. If we invest in others to secure and preserve our own importance, it won’t. It is only when we truly care about others and not so much about ourselves that we end up incidentally creating a legacy. Think about a funeral for someone who wasn’t wealthy, well-known, or important (in the world’s eyes) that is attended by hundreds of people, each with their own story about how they were helped and impacted by this person.

I’m not going to stop collecting bison figurines or LAMY pens. I am going to be intentional about investing more energy, time, and resources in other people’s success. As a leader, I am going to make the mission and vision for our community something that is as interesting to the people in the community as it is to me and that enriches them as much or more than it enriches me. I hope my kids will want my collections of objects. I know the community will carry on what we have created as they continue living and giving the Bison Way.