What’s That Noise?
We have all had this happen. Something you are using (in your house, car, yard, etc.) starts making a noise, a vibration, a squeak, or anything that is different from the last time you used it. Most likely, the item is still functioning, but now it is making that noise. You are understandably concerned. “What is wrong?” you ask no one in particular (except at my house—my wife asks me…). “When is this thing going to break, fail, stop, catch fire…?” you think to yourself.
The noise is not the problem. The noise is a symptom of the problem. Things vibrate, squeak, and make uncommon noises when they are not working properly. Those noises mean that something is wearing out, beginning to fail, or breaking. You know this, even if you don’t know why or what the problem is. (Well, some people don’t—maybe you have that friend who is still driving with the check engine light on in their car.)
The noise is annoying, concerning, and alarming. The noise causes us to focus our attention on the item to see what is going on. We are lucky if things start making a noise before they fail. It gives us a chance to fix a small problem before it becomes a much bigger one. The warning gives us options—options we wouldn’t have if the thing just quietly stopped working.
Why don’t we acknowledge that the same thing is true about people?
People make noise when they are wearing out, beginning to fail, or about to break. They don’t squeak, vibrate, or rattle. Instead, they become disengaged and detached, they argue more, they get defensive, they act aggressively, they are irritable, they don’t sleep well or eat well or look well, they can’t focus or struggle to remember things; they make noise.
If your vacuum cleaner started making a noise—an irritating, troubling noise—you wouldn’t get short with it or angry with it and demand that it perform the job of vacuuming and stop making that awful racket. No, you wouldn’t. You might be frustrated, but you are smart enough to know that getting mad at the vacuum cleaner isn’t going to help. You would get the vacuum cleaner repaired.
Getting mad at someone who is about to break makes as much sense as getting mad at your vacuum cleaner. It won’t help at all. What the person needs is someone to see past the irritating noise and help identify the real problem. We can’t always be that person for someone else. However, we can always be someone who understands that the noise isn’t the problem, that there is a real problem, and it’s probably difficult, painful, and messy. We can offer grace, forgiveness, and an ear if the person wants to talk about it.
Leaders are tasked with helping their teams reach their potential for performance. It is easy to let the drive for excellence overshadow the very real, daily problems people face in their personal, private, and public lives. Great leaders listen for the noises that indicate something is strained and find creative ways to ease the pressure and support the repair. Last month was Mental Health Awareness Month, but this is a priority throughout the year. Leaders and the communities they serve can support mental health in many ways; here are a few:
Healthy leaders create a culture of open communication and mental and emotional safety. Leaders should be approachable and accessible and should normalize talking about mental health by sharing their own experiences. Confidentiality is critical. People need to know that what they share with you will be kept private. Healthy communities are places where people feel safe expressing their concerns without fear of retaliation or judgment.
Healthy communities provide access to resources and support. Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs), counseling services, chaplains, and care teams all serve to provide safe spaces and resources for people to get help. Leaders encourage the use of these resources and make it easy for team members to access them. Allowing people to adjust their work schedules, work remotely, or take time off when needed can help someone who is struggling to get healthy.
Healthy leaders model healthy behaviors. Leaders must prioritize their own mental health and model self-care to create a culture that values well-being. Set and demonstrate healthy boundaries around work and personal life, and insist that team members do the same. Above all, show compassion and understanding to those who are struggling.
I am blessed to have experienced a significant emotional and mental health crisis in my life. Knowing how dark things can get, and knowing how hard getting healthy can be, has given me a very different view of other people who are struggling. If you do not have that kind of experience in your life, find other ways to empathize and connect with the people around you. Great leaders hear the noise before others do, and what they hear isn’t annoying—it’s a signal that the community needs to support someone the Bison Way.