Back Pain

I suffer from lower back pain. Thankfully it is not constant and is often tied to my controllable behaviors. The better I take care of myself, the less pain I experience. Today is one of the days where I hurt, and I have been thinking about how that affects me. While pain is necessary as…

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Sick And Tired

I got sick this past week, and I should have seen it coming. I have less than optimum sinuses. Two surgeries and a lot of OTC meds later, I live a mostly normal life, but from time to time I miss the clues, fail to care for myself, and end up with a sinus infection.…

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The Middleman

I spent a significant portion of my life doing things to avoid emotional pain. A couple days ago, I caught a lyric from a new single by Twenty One Pilots. In their song, “Choker”, lead singer Tyler Joseph sings, “pain is just a middleman.” That is a really concise way to describe what it took…

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Let’s Get Physical

That title may cause you to think of the 1981 Platinum hit by Olivia Newton-John. I have been thinking about a lyric from the song, but I’m not thinking about what Olivia was thinking about. In the chorus, Olivia says, “Let me hear your body talk.” Our bodies do speak to us. Before recovery, I…

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Gateway

I’ve been thinking about pain a lot lately. The emotional kind. Where it comes from. Why we have it. What I do with it. There is a lot of pain related to what we are having to do these days. I haven’t always been able to face that. I used to ignore and medicate it…

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Know Pain, Know Gain

Wednesday evening my back spasmed and locked up. This has happened before. Actually, quite a few times. This time it was worse than it had ever been. Later Wednesday night I had a full-blown panic attack. The pain was unbearable, I needed to move, but couldn’t. I was drowning. I was sweating. My heart was…

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Does It Hurt?

“Does it hurt?” “What?” “Dying.” That’s the beginning of a conversation between 13-year-old Jonah and an old man named Buddy who is dying from heart failure in a television series I was watching. Buddy replies, “Life hurts.” Yes, it does. I am struck by the irrationality of the behavior I see in the world all…

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